I talked to a lot of smart people both before deploying and in the early part of this Iraqi tour. I asked for their recommendations on mid-tour leave, also called Environmental Leave (EML, which does not stand for Emergency Leave!), or Rest & Recouperation (R&R). With the caveat that everyone's experience is different, I will share some truisms that I found useful.
- Try to schedule your leave for the downslope: that is, after your tour midpoint. As much as you might want to avoid the military, the MWR and AFRC have some great destinations, pricing and priority for deployed families.
- If you can, meet your family someplace away from home. The "distractions" of your home and hometown can not only interfere with reconnecting to your family, but also makes it so much harder to return to duty.
- At the pre-leave briefings from the chaplain and mayor team, pay attention! This isn't just "check the block" training, it's real lessons-learned. There's some good advice about avoiding excess, taking it very easy with your family, recognizing that everyone has been changed by this experience, and that your family has adapted with new routines and discipline that you won't just pick up again. Make a real effort to be a "guest in your own house."
- Plan one-on-one time with each family member, doing something special, just with them. Eric asked that we work out in the gym together. Ethan and I played at the arcade together. Plus lots of other small moments.
- Make no mistake: going back to duty is HARD to do. Be prepared. Stay in touch with your family sharing & reliving the moments.
- Start making plans for the end of tour redeployment. How will we reconnect at the end of the tour? Not just as a family, but with work, church, organizations, friends and extended family? This kind of planning is also a welcome distraction from being back in the war!
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