The British forces have been exceedingly polite as US troops move into Basra. By nature, they’re very polite people, but I’ve discovered a hidden plot: the UK is revoking our independence. In a proclamation secretly assembled last Spring (while we were busy bumbling around with the election), our British “friends” devised a clever plan: distract us with Basra while concurrently re-colonizing America. At great personal risk, I’ve decided to publish this plot, just to see if anyone cares.
The proclamation starts off:
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
See the entire revocation of independence document for yourself (PDF, 62 KB)
